Today

Do days get any better than today?

We had THE best day EVERRRR!!

Seriously - happy kids, happy parents, happy day.

We started off the morning well - not so happy when we had haircuts scheduled for 8:30 am.  Tator DOES NOT like getting a hair cut - but I was sick of trying to do a quick trim over the ears to make it passable while my child looked at me like I was the worst person ever - so we took them to a barber.

Yup.  No more hair stylist for my boys.  Give me a barber who uses a clippers and gets the job done.  We walked into the new place - I told the man that I wanted my boys to have a summer cut like my brother used to when he was a kid (buzzed on the sides and tapered up to the top - fyi known as "The Fade" as I was told) and that man got down to business.  First the Muffin, then the Tate and boy that child knows how to fight - but the barber won - and we are all happier for it.  My boys look amazing if I do say so myself; and really look much cooler for the humidity we've been having.

Next, it was on to Target - never been one of the Tates favorite places - usually needs to be held by me and screams to leave about 1/2 way through - BUT NOT TODAY!  That big boy walked all over by himself!!  Happy as a clam to stick together - get his diapers, vitamins and even pick up a few more toys for the pool.

We all left HAPPY so we decided to test our luck by going out to lunch.  Again, happy boys, happy parents.  The boys split a meal and while usually the hubs and I are trying to wolf down our food before Tator has had enough - NOT TODAY!  Both of our boys calming waiting for their lunch, calmly ate said lunch and we were finished well before he was ready to go.

WOOT-WOOT!

So home james we went - and enjoyed the pool, the heat and the sun for the next 6 hours.

Does it get any better than that?

I don't think so!

Happy kids.  Happy parents.  Happy day!

and to go with that milk...

Tonight, out of the blue, our boy said...

"Chocolate cookies?"

...because he wanted Oreos.

Came up with that one all on his own - AMAZING!!!

Lunch & Chocolate Milk

So today I went to have lunch at school with the Muffin Man - and felt like I had joined the army (or what you "see" of army life in the movies).  Seriously, it was like "MOVE MOVE MOVE - KEEP IT GOIN' NOW" kind of lunch.  40+ kids plus one adult mama and a lighting round of a 1/2 hour.  Seriously, I felt like I was wolfing down my food - and it didn't help that we were having what was called 'French Toast Sticks' when really it was 'a piece of French Toast.'  That, I didn't understand until the lunch monitor yelled out just as I was about to drown mine in syrup, "I don't want to see any dumping of syrup on the trays!  It's rip em' and dip em folks!"

Seriously!!  I am totally not joking!

So I ripped em' and dipped em' with the kids - and loved every minute of sitting with my proud boy as all of his friends asked "Is that your mom?!" 

Love that Muffin Man!

...

Tator has a new word now - well really two words - 'Chocolate Milk' and it is the cutest thing I've ever heard.

Who would have guessed that in the last weekend we would come to realize that he does in fact know ~ AND LOVE ~ Chocolate Milk and Macaroni and Cheese and absolutely loves to say these words over and over! 

Amazing.  Wonderful.  Seriously - the cutest thing.

...

Kind of humorous if not a bit of marital comic relief... 

Before going back to work I had told Mr. B about my 'rip em' and dip 'em' lunch so after we picked up the Muffin (after school) he asks him, "So, I heard that you and mommy were told to rip em' and strip em'?!"  WA-HAAAT?!?!?  Yeah, um no honey we did not rip and strip anything - where was your mind today? Ha!!

Good Things

So good things happening here...  I've been working hard - and for as hard as I work, Tator has been working even harder. 

I can confidently say that we have heard more words and more calmness.  More expression and less explosion.  More affection and more understanding.  So much more and so much better.  My little man tries so hard to be heard and seen and I love that little guy!

Did I tell you - the boy counted to 10 the other day.  10!!  All by himself!  He only missed '8' but kept right on going.

He also sat on the potty too - no whining, no screaming - just "ok", sat on the potty, counted to 20 with me and said "all done."  Love it!  Not so much as we weren't successful in the outcome as the success in the process.  The calmness, the ok, the try. LOVE IT!!

Such inspiration when you think of it - calm.  Ok.  Try.

Just try.

Meal card update.

So week one on the meal cards.

Lots of not so happy but amazingly, lots of meeting us in the middle after he realizes our feet are now firmly on the ground.

And that makes me wonder - that aspect - that "affirm that I have boundaries" is just like every other child wanting and needing to know that there is a line in the sand, that someone is in control and they aren't just out there alone and exposed...who knows, maybe I'm going to deep with this one, but take today for example.

What do we want for dinner - nuggets of course (it is the weekend after all and everyone needs a break).

And what do we want after nuggets - chips.

Only this time I said no.  No.  Not until he had eaten all of his yogurt.

There were screams of anger and frustration - for all of about 1 minute - and then he looked at me looking at him.  He looked at the yogurt and then looked at me.  Then he ate the yogurt.

So there we go. 

No.  I'm still the parent.  I'm still in charge.  You will eat better because I want better for you and because I love you.

You will push the boundaries - you will test the limits - and because I love you, here is the line.

The End.

Let's erase that.

Funny comment from the Muffin Man this morning...

We were sitting down for breakfast and just like his father, the Muffin is very considerate of how other people are doing, so he asks me, "Daddy, how is your breakfast?"

I looked at him like 'Wwwhhhaaatt???'

He does a double, laughs and while waving an imaginary block says "Let's erase that.  Mommy, how is your breakfast?"

Awww Muffin - you make me laugh!

Let's back up here...

So this evening is a frustrating one - and I know why - so I should be ok with it - but it's exhausting and frustrating and...just depressing.  I know that when Tator does not have enough to eat during the day that can only mean one thing - frustration.  Nothing is enough and nothing is what he wants - until he eats.

So that is how our evening began...but let's back up here...

***

This weekend was a good one starting with amazing things on Saturday.

We woke up to the sound of the boys at 6 am. - yes, I know I shouldn't complain.  There are parents of children that have autism that get next to no sleep at night and here I am disappointed that I don't get to sleep past 6 on a Saturday - but there you have it.  I am human.  I am selfish - sometimes.

So we lay in bed - relishing the last few moments between just the two of us when I tell Mr. B. that while I was going to tell him of another persons blog post and how 'they were talking about all of the books they were reading and I was kind of surprised how they had the time considering I know how many kids this woman has' that really I shouldn't be negative about it because it just boils down to I'm so jealous.

Jealous AND selfish!?!


I used to be able to sleep in on Saturdays and read whole books in less than a day - and here I was (autism or not) with two children and not doing either.    No really - the last time my sister in law had been to our house she had commented about my nightstand and on the "books I was reading."  Ha!  Nope, I told her - those are just there as a reminder of the books I should and would love to be reading!

So that was the end of the conversation with the Mr. - the little loves arrived and the day began.

Becoming the Saturday routine has been that whoever is going to run errands that day needs to gets to take Tator with them.  We don't know why, but it is soothing to him to be in the car - regardless of whether he is in or out while the stops are made.  I assume that it is because in most cases where things are flying around him, while he is in the car, he is in a bubble that makes him feel more secure - but that's just my assumption.

Anywhoo...  I was the one doing the running that morning - library (pick up books) dry cleaners (pick up clothes) post office (get stamps, mail pkg)...you get the drift.

So we hit the library first - my momma brain going into overdrive figuring that if the library does not go well, the other stops are super quick and will still be ok - but I did not want to end our morning with the longest stop - especially if it might be going downhill by then.

So at the library I pick up a couple of books that Mr. B wanted to read about autism - one for myself - happened across a movie that the Muffin Man would love - checked out and turn to the Tate and ask if he would like to "Go."

Amazingly, he says no.  He points that he wants to go over to the kids section.  Interesting - but I'm game...and for the next 15 minutes the Tate proceeds to play at the train table while I read.a.book.

You got it.  I got to read my book for 15 minutes.  Peace. Quiet.  Reading. 

And seriously, about 5 minutes in, I looked up and realized what did and was happening and almost started crying.  What I had just said to Mr. B. this morning was proven incorrect and I just have to say I love it when God says - "Lady Jane, I am right here.  I am still here.  And I Am."

Said a little prayer.  Wiped my little tear.  Smiled.  And continued reading. 

When the Tator was ready to go, we ran around town finishing up the rest of our errands and it was all good.

***

The good continued when Saturday night one of our favorite babysitters was able to come over to watch the boys.  We were able to leave for about 6 hours (AMAZING!) and boy did we cram it all in!  Quick dinner, movie, crazy shopping and home again.  It was a fun night with good conversations about where we were, where we are and whether 'Maintaining' our marriage/family/life is a good thing.  We concluded that we needed a bit more help with this answer but that we were pretty sure that in 3 years or so that we would wonder how we got where we were and not be happy when we looked back to what began.  Anyway - we are working on that...

***

Sunday after church we were able to pick up flowers and dirt and then went out for pizza - another event that hasn't happened in well over a month and one we were really ready to write off (it had so not gone well prior to that and we were just tired of trying).  But we did.  We got our usual table in the corner so Tate could have his back to the wall - and for some reason it hit me then too.  "Why was this going so well?  What were the factors at other restaurants when it had been disastrous?"  And that was it - where we sat!  Every time I could think of that we had been to restaurants and he had done just fine - business and noise be danged - we had been in a back or corner booth/table and Nate had his back to a wall!

So we are curious to try our theory here sometime soon.  If I'm wrong - oh well.  One more thing that we tried that didn't quite work.

But with this little man - we just gotta' keep trying!

***

So overall a good weekend.  We are trying a new system with the Tate.  We love using picture cards and have now developed a picture schedules for supper for him.  That child could live on chicken nuggets and chips and we were sick of that - so we are in to day number of two of each day of the week is the same supper - and while he is not too happy with us (still screaming for the nuggets) we have won little battles each day when he does in fact eat what we put in front of him.

Baby steps.

But now it's time for a bath and bed...for the boys first and then for the momma.

Tired, tired momma.